Before individuals come into a relationship each one has a past history. They have past memories that are in the form of letters, letters of their first love, cards, and scrap books, text messages in cell phones, pictures with her ex in her laptop or cell phone as well and so on. Many couples when they come together into a new relationship like to keep their reminiscences of the past in some or the other form. These collections have a special meaning to each one and have sentiments attached to it.
Usually the opposite sex partner does not realize the importance of these collection and do not consider it valuable at all which in my opinion is “KAKITIRAN NG UTAK”. On the other hand the owner of these belongings has a special meaning for these and is very sentimental about it. Therefore it is important for their mates to RESPECT the partner’s sentiments. Special care should be taken not to hurt the partner with satire. He should never be made fun off and consider the behavior childish. There are couples who even make a grave mistake of suspecting their partner which is so wrong and immature. They dig out the box that has been kept as a secret by the mate and search for what is present no more (hello?!?!?! kaya nga tinawag na past di ba, tanga ka ba? Ikaw na nga ang mahal nya ngayon, bakit naiinsecure ka pa???). They try to look for an opportunity to read those letters or see those pictures out of fear of being cheated or just curiosity. Which is wrong, so wrong? Just like consumers privacy, employee privacy, PERSONAL PRIVACY too is necessary and you have to give it to your mate if you really love her. Remember bf ka pa lang nya, nagagawa mo na yan, pano pa kung mag asawa na kayo? Do you want her to think that you’re the kind of man who wants to control her life? I don’t think so.
However it is normal to suspect a person if something is kept as a secret but one thing should be borne in mind that true relationship depends on trust and faith. Moreover each one of us has the right to privacy. An individual person can have things completely to oneself without others interfering or having a look at it, even the life partners (so kung may katext ang girlfriend mo and you are trying to take a peek dun sa kung anu man ang pinag uusapan nila, para sakin, sarili kong pananaw, kabastusan na un at kawalan ng tiwala). All of us require some space and should be given that required liberty. One should respect his partner’s privacy. Give space to your partner and give time so that your partner on her own will show those collections to you. At times what happens is that people hesitate to show their stuff to their partners due to embarrassment or fear of not being understood correctly (kasi nga childish, maarte at masyado kang maduda). And as a result do not make an effort to show these collections of the past. As the soul mate you should never suspect your partner and try to be neutral towards that secret box owned by your partner. You should not show any curiosity towards it or make your partner uncomfortable about those items that she cherishes. If you behave in a dignified manner and show complete trust then your partner without any hesitation will show you whatever she owns privately. In fact your partner will be more than happy to share the past that would help you to come out of the emotions.
But after that trust that she showed to you, you should not take it for granted, you should cherish it and treasure it for life because for me, love is easier to give than trust and once you screwed up and broke that trust that she gave you, it’s so hard to get it back or maybe you’ll never will. It may be given to you again, but it’s different already, not like the one that she gave you before. One thing more, you should be happy that she shared that secret box to you, you should be glad that she took the risk to show her pictures with her ex on her laptop and so on. A lot of courage is needed to do those things, and by doing that, it only means one thing, she TRUST YOU. It’s normal that you will feel a stab of jealousy but her past is her own. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t attempt to light those letters and scrap books on fire. Don’t delete those pictures in her cell phone or laptop. Because one thing is for sure, you’ll just disappoint your partner and you’ll just break her trust. And lastly, you can fire those letters or throw it in a garbage can, you can delete those photos in her laptop but one fact I am sure of, you can never erase those memories that they’ve shared together, NEVER. She kept that pictures, she kept that secret box because she has fond memories of everything at the time, not just him, but the group of friends she had and the places she visited with them, but even though the secret box and pictures are there, just be happy because she loves you a lot and she is next to you every time you wake up, and that counts for a lot more than some pics.
Remember that a relationship depends on mutual understanding and trust. If in a relationship partners care for each other even their past that relationship never faces any problems and are strongly nit together.
